Tag Archives: life

Walk

I was driving home earlier tonight and on my iPod the song “Walk” by Foo Fighters came up on my shuffle playlist thing. I already had this song in a playlist of songs that may inspire me to write a blog post, but I usually do not feel entirely inspired by picking and choosing a song. The song usually plays, without me choosing it, and then I feel inspired and/or “infinite.” My favorite verse of the song is “I’m learning to walk again/ I believe I’ve waited long enough/ Where do I begin?/ I’m learning to talk again/ Can’t you see I’ve waited long enough/ Where do I begin?”. This verse really popped out at me tonight, because it explains exactly what I have been doing these past two months and what I have been trying to do since  June 2011. Basically I have been trying to rebuild my life, I was successful with this in the fall but somehow and someway I stopped halfway through the fall semester. Then in winter I started to piece my life together, and now ever since then I have been working hard at accomplishing things in my life. I have been very busy the past two months getting myself organized and prepared for applying for a college transfer this upcoming fall (Fall 2012). While doing this I have also been rebuilding my life as I am building the foundation for my future. I have changed how I eat (once again), how often I exercise, I have been working on how I communicate with my friends, and I have even cut people out of my life who are unhealthy for me. My next step is to incorporate even more of “The Secret,” God, and more spiritual things into my life. I do not know why I did not do this sooner, and I wish I did start this sooner but right now is a good time for me to start. Now that I have real goals in my life, I feel like I have a true purpose. I have found that I do not care as much about what others think of me, and I feel stronger as a being. So my message is that everyone should make a goal to look towards and try to achieve. What is the point of life if you are not going to have any goals? Everyone needs goals, especially if you want to be successful in all or several aspects of life. Overall this is an update of how I have been these past 9 months. I missed writing, and I am glad to say that I am back. 🙂

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Filed under twenty.twelve.

F**kin’ Perfect (part two…)

I am going to sit down and try this again. Basically I feel this need to have to always be perfect. I feel this need to have to please everyone around me. Lately I have been changing that. Its going to be a hard process but I am going to try. There has only been a few times I have truly appreciated my body, once I started caring more about how I looked. I am not perfect, I do not look perfect. I am only human. I am trying to learn everyday how to accept and love myself more. I love myself enough to have started taking better care of myself. But my insecurities sometimes take over, and stop me from taking a step forward in accepting myself. My insecurities make me feel “less than” or like “nothing.” It is horrible that I give my insecurities that much power. It is horrible I give my emotions that much power. But starting today I am going to make it stop taking over me. My insecurities are a demon. In a few days I will be 18. The big one eight. I will be legally considered an adult. I feel like I have not accomplished anything. I feel like I come up with great ideas but I do not follow through on them. I have been “half assing” everything. Writing this post is a step towards change. I am following through on what I said. I said I was going to hopefully write the rest of this post the next day (today) and voila here it is. I always state how I feel about things which has its pros and cons. It is as if I never know things. But I do know things, I am just not always sure of them. Well back to being 18, its time for me to make some changes in how I live my life. I am going to start being more productive and start getting things accomplished. No more procrastinating for me, I will be in college soon. Procrastination is not a good trait to have, so it needs to go. I am my worst critic, but tonight my worst critic is my greatest critic. It is giving me a lesson in growing up. When I am critical of myself it makes my insecurities come out. Other people do not make me insecure, I make myself insecure. Now it is time to be secure. Starting tomorrow I think I am going to start writing a schedule. It is time for me to take control of my life. The key will be around my neck on sunday. Another thing I just realized I am changing is “name dropping” it just makes me look conceited, selfish, and shallow. And tonight typing this I stopped myself from “name dropping.” I am better than that. I will be better than that. This is only the beginning of the new reinvented me. More is to come. Everyday, every week, every month, every year I learn new things about myself.

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Filed under twenty.eleven.