Not everyone is completely sane, but thats not the point of the title I have chosen. The point is everything has been odd. I am always saying I do not feel like myself anymore, the reason why is that I am so caught up in what others think of me. I have changed my frame of mind just to get along with others, I have even said I like some music because I wanted common ground in order to be accepted. Then someone was going through my ipod and left it on the artists in Cold War Kids. Later that day I put on my ipod and decided to listen to them. Listening to them opened my eyes, because I use to love them. I stopped listening to them and started focusing on other music that I thought would get me accepted with others. I stopped focusing on what I like, what I love. I started focusing on what I thought I liked and what I thought I loved even though deep down I constantly had to remind myself that I liked or loved something. So when I was saying I feel not like myself, I was not being myself. Sometimes you have to lose yourself before you find yourself. I’ve lost myself these past few years, and I finally feel I am back on the path to finding myself. Finding out who I truly am. Finding out what I truly like. Figuring what I truly want. Cold War Kids do not get all the credit, or the girl who put my ipod on Cold War Kids. Recently while practicing doing my makeup with my best friend she told me that I should like my makeup because I like it or because I think it looks good and not base whether I like it or not over her opinion or someone else’s opinion. So this whole week I have been becoming aware of what I like and what I do not like. I have also been making up my mind about things that I thought I liked because others liked it. Now I am going to go back to questioning why people like some things because I think its crap.
my little dove 