17

I have been listening to plenty of music lately. Mostly last week, when I chose the title of this post. The song is 17 by Sky Ferreira. The song got me thinking about how when you are 17  you want to be an adult, but legally you cannot be. And how at 17 you hold many secrets, and how you just want to have fun but still be considered and treated as if your an adult. Which can be dangerous, or just a thrill depending on what you choose to do. In my case, I do not think I have many secrets of my own and I hope for that collection to grow just a little bit. Everyone needs at least one secret or am I wrong?

My mom bought “The Secret,” yesterday and I have been listening to it with her at times. Its very interesting, and fascinating. When she bought the discs I bought a few books. The novel I am reading at the moment is, “Super Sad True Love Story,” written by Gary Shteyngart. At first it was interesting, and last night towards the end of finishing reading for the day, I started getting bored with the novel. I am not sure how much I read yesterday. (I started it yesterday, Sept. 6th.) But, I am going to push through and finish it just to see how it ends. I bought a few other books and I will write about those once I start reading them. The one I am presently reading is basically about a guy who is hung up over a girl he had a one night stand with. The girl on the other hand is much younger than him, and slept with him because she was bored and she has no further interest in him. But, after reading more she has some deep baggage behind her beauty. I am not a huge fan of romances. I think its because they either make me sad and depressed, or disappointed and annoyed because its too sappy. Romantic parts in books are fine, but an entire book based on romance I would not be able to finish…. unless their is drama or a mystery.

Since my epiphany I have been doing really good still. I experienced my first down feelings the other day. I do not remember why, but I think its because I need sleep. So tonight I am going to sleep somewhat early so I can be fresh for the next day. I also need to take my medicine, only two pills. One at night and one in the morning. I took the last one last night. I could feel a change today in my moods, which means I need it. Last night I was up late, and I was bored so I went on omegle. I started talking to a few people, but those were quick conversations. I ended up in basically and hour long conversation with this guy named Nadir. He goes to George Mason University. He is thinking about going into medicine. He is 18. Our conversation was pretty deep, and very enjoyable. It was nice talking to someone in a realistic way like that. I think I gave him my anonymous email and screen name. I have been thinking all day if that was a good thing or a bad thing…

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